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Jacob Sproggins
Summary Jacob Sproggins must have aspergers or something that makes him unaware of the way society works in general. He has made 2 appearances and in both he has displayed this. He used to present a show, the name of the show is unknown but it is assumed it was on the topic of life advice which is very ironic. It is possible that parts of his character are taken from a real life person the guys at SitcomPit know. He is portrayed by Damon Hindle. How to get a Girlfriend w/ Jacob Sproggins In Sproggins' first appearance he was presenting to the viewers how to get a girlfriend. His advice was extremely wrong and incongruous with society. His first tip was to "be yourself" which, coming from him, was a very bad tip. He claimed to have "good style" and said dressing casually was important. He then put on a grey ooshanka and suit jacket on top of his already hideous glasses. He claimed that it would set the tone for how it will be 20 years down the line when you're married and have "seven mentally handicapped kids". His second tip was to have good pick up lines. He majorly messed this up and tried to say "If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together" but he said the wrong letters such as "P and G" and "K and L". In the end he siad "if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd have sex with you". He quickly tried moving on and told the viewer to tell them their best pick up line while he remained silent for a few seconds. He then "responded" by stripping of his jacket saying it made him hot then gave the viewer a thumbs up and said "you're getting better already". His third tip was to "impress her". He claims that "bitches get wet for musical instruments". He then pulls out his tin whistle and claims he can "play it like a really cool dude" and knows how to play "Mary had a little Lamb". However, he blows on his whistle and overshoots his blow causing him to scream for his "mummy" and cries that he needs his medicine. His fourth tip was to display your music taste. He tells the viewer to show her their most hetero song they have in their collection. He puts a track on and claims that "bitches love this one". However, the song is "Take on Me" by A-Ha, a notoriously un-hetero song. He then executes a stupid dance. His fifth and final tip is entitled "the last resort". He then appears, balaclava-clad (still wearing his glasses), holding a Magnum pistol. He claims that if all else fails "you kidnap the bitch". He then directs his speech to a woman named "Kirsty" who rejected him at prom. He then attacks the camera whilst shouting "what did you f*cking reject me for? I'll f*cking have you, you bitch"! The video ends. The video was aired on 4th June 2014. Fired! Jacob Sproggins' second appearance was on 12th August 2014. It starts with him asking if the camera is rolling and an off screen voice (the director) confirms it. He then has tells the director and the camera man (Greg) to stop the rolling. When asked why he claims that the script is not right for him. The new script is of how to get a boyfriend and he says it is not in his field, nor his contract. What ensues is a heated argument between the director and Jacob. The director tells Jacob that evceryone at the studio thought he was gay after his calamitous girlfriend video. Sproggins takes offence at this and exclaims "how dare you"! Once he states that he has not bothered to learn the script the director tells hi he is fired. After some arguing over whether that was fair or not Sproggins brings the director's wife into the mix and says she has been looking elsewhere and that is why the director is punishing him. The director then gets aggressive and Jacob tries threatens him with a UK flag. Getting frustrated, Sproggins smacks the wall. Knowing that this angers the director he does it several times and then claims he has a job at channel 6 lined up which is clear lies. He gets so frustrated in the end that he attacks Greg and the video ends. Clothes and Style Sproggins' clothes and style are very strange. He is always seen wearing a button up shirt with thick-rimmed black nerd glasses, a black suit jacket and a grey ooshanka with the lead hanging down. he is clean shaven and looks rather juvenile compared to other characters. Characteristics It is highly possible that Sproggins has a mental impedement such as apergers syndrome as he does not fully grasp how society works evident in both videos. He often gurns, making him look unattractive and a bit creepy. To add to this he talks in a very thick Northern English accent. It is highly possible that he has a low I.Q as his arguing skills leave a lot to be desired and he seems very immature even going as far as calling for his mummy despite being in his 20s. Notable Quotes "Hello the YouTubes" "Good style me." "Bitches get wet...for musical instruments" "You kdnap the bitch" "I'll f*cking have you, you bitch!" "Step 1...suck his cock" "How dare you!" "Greg, f*cking stop the camera now"! "What do you mean put it on the outtakes? There's not gonna be any outtakes 'cause it's not happening"! "Fuck off...mate." Chronological List of Appearances How to: Get a Girlfriend w/ Jacob Sproggins - 4th June 2014 - Main Role Jacob Sproggins FIRED - 12th August 2014 - Main Role Category:Characters